This is Really Ridiculous
by Cotto
Summary: Willow's magic reaks havoc on Kennedy's life, she messes up her lover's DNA This is designed to be humor and will probably be a beginning of a Kennedy's life series. This is probably G rated fanfiction- not violent at all, although there is a slight catfight between Willow and Kennedy. My goal here is gentleness to those characters. Willow/Kennedy paring. Enjoy.


**This is Really Ridiculous!**

_**By James Carmody**_

_**Pennames: Cotto, Vantiri, Krulos, Thrawn, Mollari, Palpatine, Vorchan.**_

**Buffy the Vampire Slayer fanfiction.**

**Pairing: Willow/Kennedy**

**Summery: **Willow's magic causes havoc in her relationship with Kennedy… This is pure silliness on my part.

**Disclaimer:** Buffy is the property of Joss Whedon, not me., I take no re-imbursement aside from the credit for this individual story.

**Author's beginning notes:** Story takes place somewhere in season 7, but Willow and Kennedy are not sleeping together the night before, I doubt it would have made much of a difference… Kennedy's DNA gets messed up during the night.

**Chapter 1: An extremely unpleasant surprise.**

Upon waking up, Kennedy realized that something was off… her face felt hot- I mean unusually warm, and just her face. She blinked then reached up with her right hand, and… '_**What?! Facial Hair?!**_ It can't be!' she was surprised to say the least _'The last thing I remember is talking to Willow before going to bed, she said that she wanted to do a… spell?! SHE DID THIS!? I love her, but she's sure acting like a lunatic these days.'_ I know I said 'it might be cool to have a beard', but this is ridiculous! Upon hiking to the mirror, her surprise was compounded: _'I look like Santa Claus! Of course, minus the fatness, I'm a girl, not a guy, and the facial hair is black, not white- but __**still**__!'_

Now Kennedy was mad- with the fact that Willow had bollixed up her DNA, who knows what'll happen next, she wanted to find Willow and talk to her… but, unfortunately, the first person she ran into was….. Xander! He did a number of things: a double-take, his mouth fell open, dropped his cup of coffee on the carpet (luckily he'd finished it), and when he was finally sure what he'd seen, burst out laughing! "Kennedy? Is that you? With a beard?" he asked, he was charming, and kind, but man, could he be… blunt sometimes! "Yes, and this is why I need to talk to Willow, I think she may have something to do with this 'biological mess' that I am in." "Wow! I had no idea that you were so biased against guys!" "What?! NO! I just mean that somehow my DNA got all messed up last night,,, Willow told me that she was going to do a spell, and I know how this kind of thing tends to cause havoc- I never imagined it would give me a beard, though."

Buffy came by next, and her look said it all quite clearly; WHAT?! It genuinely looked like she was going to burst out laughing, so Kennedy decided to get it over with "Yeah, laugh it up" she said angrily, then continued "I look ridiculous, I really do." she said, and for the first time felt like crying.

About thirty-five minutes later…Wham! Wham! Wham! Wham! Kennedy banged on the bathroom door. "Willow, hurry up! I need to shave before church!" Kennedy was banging on the door of the bathroom. "OK, no need to inform me of your bathroom needs. I know we're involved, but still, a little lady-like decorum would be appreciated!" Then she opened the door and "HOLY COW Kennedy, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!" Willow blurted "Yeah, that's kind-of what I want to know." Kennedy said rather angrily with her eyebrows knit together, her lips grim, and just looking angry "You know how important my beliefs are to me… I can't go to church like this- WHAT DID YOU DO?" "Ok, I understand" Kennedy shut the door "I thought you meant your legs, not your face though!" "It has to be a spell. Get it through your head, Willow, magic is hazardous! For crying out loud, you're toying around with Dad's gun!" "Dad's gun? Kennedy, I don't understand, what do you mean?" "Remember history, the Colonial period? How they had to keep a loaded gun in the house to fight off attacks- what with the length of time it took to load and the accuracy of those weapons, or lack thereof?" "Ok, I begin to get it, but the gun analogy, still lost there." Kennedy looked right at her "Girlfriend, you changed MY DNA, don't get me wrong, I love you, but still, why would you do this to me? Do you want me to be your boyfriend too? I mean, DNA is arguably **the** most potent mix of chemicals imaginable, it's the very way life is made itself, and how life is sustained! You messed me up!" "I messed You up? No-no-no, I am sure this was a 'we thing'." "I went to bed Willow, how in the world could I have done this?" as she pointed to her beard with her hand while still in her pajamas.

Xander was talking to Buffy and said "Kennedy sure did look bizarre today, what's up with that?" The women could hear it quite clearly through the door. "Ok, let's think it through logically, it has to be a spell, but how do you get the idea that I did this, and why would I do this?" "Maybe you decided to make me your boyfriend." "What?! Ken-doll, you know I am into girls!" Willow responded "Besides, I am not the only magic-user around, maybe it was one of them." "Un-huh." Kennedy said skeptically and nodding slightly, with her arms crossed, "Look Willow, there's a proper use of mysticism, and a _**very**_ **dumb**** use** thereof, to invoke a saint or God is to help someone- so long as it's actually TO help them, however to invoke a UNRELIABLE spirit is to do enormous CHAOS and Harm! Remember Ethan Rayne? The jerk who forcibly inducted your best friend into a 'sorcery gang'? HE WAS DUMB to get involved with… Eygon was it? Recall the faith you were raised in, recall what you said the rabbi said in the synagogue 'that God is our Father.' remember that? You said you were going to do a spell… remember that, and now remember the point I just made- God is the 'Dad' I was referring to!" "Ok, love, I get that, just the gun part makes me a bit, shall we say- confused." "You've been re-writing nature, and yes, I have a problem with that!" "So, nature is this firearm that you talk about?" "Nature, DNA, yes it is!" "You never seemed to be that religious before, why now?" Willow asked finally. "Willow, it has to do with my job, you know, the fight against evil… can't do so without a power source, and a very good one at that. Look, there are some people already who claim that we're demons, or servants of Lucifer, or tools of Satan, or whatever- that 'Slayers are possessed', I don't believe that! Not for one minute!" now Kennedy was very upset., she was almost crying.

"Now you see why my beliefs are so important to me, Willow, I want to prove them wrong, and by them, I mean those who claim that those who say that because my DNA includes the propensity to be a preternatural 'warrior-woman' I must be a *gulp* traitor to God, and by returning to church at a regular basis, maybe I can prove to myself that those claims are groundless… and not get suicidal!" Kennedy was almost at tears. "Um, Kennedy, why would a gal who is interested in returning to her Catholic faith be calling her female lover a goddess?" "I was exaggerating, Willow! I also meant that you were exceedingly gorgeous! In short, I was being poetic." "Yeah, I get it, but having a affair with someone of the same gender? Doesn't that break several rules of that faith?" "Yes, well, we aren't perfect, are we?" Kennedy argued.

For a first time shaving a thick beard, Kennedy did a spectacular job, but she made a critical error common to beginner shavers- she forgot to line the sink with paper towels, and rinsed all the hair down the sink. After she was finished, she got dressed for church. (It was Sunday).

Dawn got up, and went to brush her teeth thinking _'Man, I hate morning-breath!'_, when she rinsed, she was surprised and yelled "Hey! Why is the sink slow to drain?" "Let me see that." Xander, the handyman said, irritated, then he continued after using the plunger on the sink for the fifth attempt to unclog it said "Ohhhhh, Snap! This thing is really super-clogged!" When he finally found out what had clogged this thing, he discovered it to be a huge hairball of black hair; Kennedy's beard and mustache! "Someone forgot to line the sink with paper towels." he said. "Xander, let up on her… _please_?" Willow said "It is really her first time, and she isn't to blame for this fiasco- I am." said Willow, then she continued "You know I love you as a brother Xand, but sometimes my… addiction gets the better of me" Willow said with her head hanging "It's a one-time thing, I assure you, I was just playing around." "Playing around with your lesbian lover's DNA, why does that sound so wrong to me at so many levels? Let me see…" Xander said.

As for Kennedy, the Mass went fine, and as she'd made it to church well ahead of time, she also made the sacrament of Confession, which meant that she could take the Eucharist too- very good for her preternatural strength to be sustained.

_**Author's notes:**_

Kennedy is not living according to the rules of the Catholic Faith, but in this story, at least she's beginning to try to live right. I was convinced to give her that faith by the stories of some other writers in this series (fanfiction writers, of course). I rather like their work, some of them are: CNWinters, Alixtii, and Stormwreath, just to name the ones I have read that see her like that.- so I adopted that point of view on her.

I myself am a Roman Catholic man, and I am familiar with the social teachings of the Church, one not commonly understood is that **all humans ****regardless**** of gender** alive today, and any day, are God's children- this would include people living like Kennedy (she's living in sin in the series), but she'd still be my sister by adoption from God.

I put the situation with the sink because I have had a similar problem with clogging the drain after forgetting to line the sink with paper-towels, it tends to really frustrate my current landlord (I will not tell who he is openly).

I do writing in this trajectory for the reason that I am attempting to improve my own character with mercy and benevolence.

I intend to continue writing stories involving her and her beliefs. Feel free to PM me or review this story.

I meant it as a silly comedy.

I may continue. Hey, maybe I'll make a semi-series of stories regarding her POV.


End file.
